i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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