i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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