I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
