It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
