he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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