please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
