am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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