As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
