i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Watching her eat just hurts me
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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