are you still at the devil's house?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
