do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
