no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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