Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
