i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
