We're like a lot better than the average bears
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My breath smells like gin and sadness
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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