i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
