Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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