her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
