yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
