hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
