I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
