Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
