I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
