You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
