So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I just gargled with NyQuil
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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