YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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