I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
