My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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