so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
