Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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