we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
