what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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