I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
