I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
