If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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