ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
