Rock
Scissors
Fuck
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Randomize
