Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dick very happy bro
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
