Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
