I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
