The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
