I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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