I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
