I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
