We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
