For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
