am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
