The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
