no you cant smoke seaweed
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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