I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
