420 ftw
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
